NIGERIA IS REINVENTING FOLKLORE IN 2018: A SATIRE

2019-06-14T23:05:43+01:00By |Feature|0 Comments

We’re Nigerians and Nigeria is Reinventing Folklore in 2018

Few weeks ago, the internet broke loose when news agencies reported that a whopping sum of #36m went missing from the highest post-secondary school examination body, JAMB. The said culprit were quick to say “No ooo, we didn’t embezzle the money, it was a snake that swallowed it.” Did I hear someone scream Chisos, please don’t, this is Nigeria and if you haven’t noticed, we are reinventing folklore in 2018.

Like that wasn’t enough, few days later we will hear that Ichie -Elder Monkey had swallowed #70m somewhere in the north of Nigeria. Somebody please shift, I am not fainting, I just want to cry small and ask why that monkey was not from my family. Can you imagine, I need to start rearing cock, hen and baby cocks or was it baby fowl that funny dude called it? I am heartbroken, honestly, ordinary monkey, ha, this is not nice. Where is my “Chi” Lol.

Now jokes apart,

Since our neighbors from the animal kingdom are into our affairs, wonders have not seemed to end. Not only are the human dwellers of Nigeria making a parody as usual out of this situation, the folks from the animal kingdom are beginning to get our undivided attention.

Just the other day, Mr. Rat who for a very long time has enemies with Mr. Snake has suddenly mended their broken relationship. One evening as I eavesdropped upon their conversation on social media – of course they are also technologically advanced and get featured on different platforms, they even have Twitter handles with large following. So, they were conversing and this is what they were saying as captured by Ugo Jesse, a cartoonist from Nigeria.

Welcome back from that short clip. Probably, you’re thought that things are getting out of hands in Nigeria but hey it’s a one man’s food another man’s poison scenario. While the less comic among the human dwellers of Nigeria find the situation of hipping white lies on our poor neighbors of the animal kingdom a tragedy, it has come to my notice that probably it is a way and workings of God and the gods of the animal race.

Imagine for a very long time, we all forgot about Mr. Tortoise, the Dog and the Hare and called folklore trash but delight in watching the Fox and the Hound, Barbie Fairytopia, etc, hence we left our precious folklore to rut – we called it by many unappreciative names but like the Bible said that God uses the foolish things of this world to astonish the wise, He has remembered the animal kingdom and through the foolishness of some human dwellers, the animal kingdom will for once in this century be celebrated.

But it’s painful to know that this celebration is a product of falsehood but either way, our neighbors from the animal kingdom finally got our undivided attention. And to make it super rewarding, some of our boys and girls are dreaming of becoming some kind of lord, some even want to turn to some sort of mammals, I think I like mosquito but they’re too tiny, an elephant will be better. What do you think? It won’t be a surprise to hear them saying very soon, “I want to be a Monkey Lord. I will train my monkey to fly into palaces and get money from the corrupt people.” Or I want to become a Snake Master, Rat Teacher. My rat will be like Black Panther. This is not a laughing matter, you will see soon that right before our eyes, and Nollywood will release a blockbuster titled “The Animal Kingdom in Nigeria” Ndi Alaba kwenu! Aba ngwa kwenu! Upper iweka kwenu! Idumota kwezu e nu ooo!

Nigeria is Reinventing Folklore

I am not perplexed, when a young hot-head leader of the people of the “half of a yellow sun” nation said the Nigerian nation was or rather apt, is a zoo, an old bone and brain knocking leader called him a terrorist but one season down the line not only have we been zoo-zoned, even the zoo nation our neighbors are now popular than we the human dwellers of Nigeria. And let me say this to you reading, we now have two types of dwellers in Nigeria – the human dwellers and the people of the animal kingdom.”

And so, whether you like it or not, in Nigeria we are reinventing folklore in 2018. We can see that the village people have learned how to use time machine and right before our eyes in 2018 we have traveled far back to the times of “story story, once upon a time. In a time when animals could talk and lived with humans, there were two friends named the monkey and the dog. One day…” did that sound like a movie called Merlin? Bye. Drops pen.

The End.


Read other interesting post, check out this story about the savvy Lagos conductor I met weeks ago.

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I'm in love with life, learning and positive energy. I'm here to make a bit of a difference. Totally Freespirited! Like a bird.

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