I am at that age when more than half my mates are hooking with their better halves in splashy wedding ceremonies every Saturday and throwing all shades and sizes of bouquet. That’s a beautiful thing right? To see your friends hit the aisle is a gorgeous thing and if you are not a bad belle, you’ll truly be happy for them. You might even buy an aso-ebi even if you have to drink garri – actually it should be eat garri for a month. And you will gladly travel to remote places, those place your momma told you not to visit where even Google map will need to be found. You get the picture now.
Weddings are beautiful if you ask me and I have within my circle defended the popular saying that some people go overboard with spending and borrowing. For me I always say do what suits you as long as you don’t have to beg after your wedding. Like seriously, that’s not so good for your rep.
Lest I forget, I got a disturbing remark about young married Nigerian women and I have particularly been at a church wedding where the officiating minister told the bride to shun her unmarried friends because of some nonsense. I was pricked and offended, not to say, from that day I have never bothered to ask that particular friend how things are working with her. And from that day, I have decided to stay on my lane once they marry – my friends and foes. As for me, I am single and not offended; I live cheerfully doing what I love best – serving you some weird creative stuffs.
But recently, I have met more folks expressing same offense I harbored . Just some months ago at one of my visit to a friend’s workplace, I walked in on his colleague, a female ranting about one of her friends who choose to tell her about her wedding just a week or thereabout to the event. According to her, this friend said she wanted it on low key because they – the spiritual people told her to beware of haters. Did I hear you saying “Village people?”
The lady was beside herself infuriated by such comment coming from someone she had been friends with from childhood days. Just like her and many more unmarried Nigerian young women, I am appalled by this myopic, senseless indoctrination we are feeding our young married women.
Truth is marriage comes with its own challenges and married women need to know how and who they share their struggles with but to bring it to the level of saying they should shun their unmarried female friends, that’s balderdash and nonsensical.
So what is this new vogue?
It’s simple, when a girl gets proposed to; she gladly shares her joy with friends which mostly are female. The wedding day is fixed and the aso-ebi, train etc gets into full gear. Soon the wedding approaches, instructors start giving instructions, advices starts flying from every angle but there’s this new advice that is getting us single ones vexed and this is it.
The parents, pastors and advisers of the bride tells her to avoid her single friends once she settles into her home because these single friends who haven’t been able to catch a bobo may be jealous and give them wrong advise to wreck their homes.
And from there, the bride will take instruction and start avoiding her single friends, she starts making new friends among married women like her. Phew!
It has become very common among Yoruba girls or young women. I don’t get the gist. What’s wrong with married women having unmarried ones as friends?
Enemies, jealousy I hear you say but that’s flat, so flat. Everything in life demands being careful and if you cannot be confident to associate with your unmarried friends now that you have left the market, then I am sorry to say this but it just shows the kind of person you are yourself.
Taken that we have not- so-good stories around but honestly, if you know your friends from the start, it won’t be difficult to know what they can do and not do. But then people pretend, yes they do but you attract your like. Ask yourself, given a similar scenario , aren’t you just an example of your friends!
And personally, if your friends can be so wicked as to snatch your husband, that’s an indication that while you were unmarried, that was the lifestyle you lived.
Sorry if that cuts but I aren’t here to mince words, it’s sickening and hey marriage is not a trophy so let’s cut the chase and let man drink water drop cup. I wish them great married life, meanwhile I will be here writing away while my prince charming warms up to the big day. Our own wedding will hold in Jupiter, no Ankara, no semo. Ogwucha!
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